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I was *kibitzing (do not ask me what does this mean) since the time I stayed far away from my couch, about  which of the two classics that I managed to watch this week, despite the hectic travel & work schedule my system was struggling with, has influenced me to the extent that I found a palpable change in my attitude towards various developments in my life and my daily interaction with others.

Is it the sheer poetry of one’s imaginary world and the raw emotions brought forth with such an intense fortitude by both the women protagonists as captured by Ingmar Bergman’s “Autumn Sonata” or the Godard’s Masculin féminin, a stylishly crafted timeless piece, a fresher yet philosophical view on restless young bodies, thus establishing the fact that “philosopher and film-maker share a way of being, an outlook on life, which is a pleasant intrusion as brought in by the fresher generation to the society.” Like many, I consume many things, consciously or unconsciously, these days. What more I could desire for, when a substantial part of this consumption – on the movie couch, on the bed, at the window, on the terrace, under the canopy, in the airport lounge, in the cab making its way through narrow gullies in those small towns…, instead of idling away like a lotus-eater, works on my conscience, religiously, to alter the way I look at things, the way I perceive things, the way I consider many a motive of humans I interact with, the way I respond to a few of them. ….

When the whole world around me plunges into darkness, all of a sudden, I feel everything turns towards me, the walls, the rooms, the fence, the wind chimes, everything …to hear the dialogue between my soul and me, which is loud enough for them to cheer when one of us score a point over the other. Most do this, and I do this too. I tend to brush aside many queries that my soul poses at me, which are the immediate outcomes of many activities that I do as part of my rigmarolic existence,at work, say for instance, why did that Client Servicing Director forget to remind me of the meeting when he knew that I was a key member on the brand thinking? My soul queries me “Is this kind of an indicator that people take your presence and your efforts for granted? do not you think it’s time for you to raise a revolutionary voice that breaks the clutter? Ideas are such fragile creatures, once they are out of your mouth, there does exist a battle amongst others to appropriate this and declare to the rest of the world they are the original fathers of the ideas ? how do you want to raise a revolution that the world gets numbed by its impact and listens to you with utmost respect?”…sure, they are excellent points, so relevant for my personal growth, but I brush them aside to focus on the task in my hand…it’s like suppressing the revolt in me against the treatment I receive from the world at that moment, crushing the voice of restlessness, the surge of unrest and surrender to this desire to fulfill one more task as sent by the outer world earnestly……without consideration, without shame. ..where do we buy energy drinks that are compellingly fortified enough to suppress the interminable “sense of unrest” in us?    

But when I plunge into the darkness along with the other things, I feel the need to sit and face the accumulated queries as posed by, the things gnawing at  my soul. So much energy is spent on many things that I do for the outer world, well, I have nothing against them as they enable me to strengthen my position and my status of individuality in the society, but I should also pay attention to certain essential things that I am expected to do for the world inside me. High walls of resistance, arrogant looking fences in brighter hues have to be built, the cracks on the walls have to be repaired, the curtains or the blinds that let me escape from the outside world need to be washed clean, to be dried in the sun , the creases to be ironed, the floor has to be vaccum cleaned, the porch needs to be swept clean, the wind-chimes have to be given a through-clean sweep….so that I could face the outer world with renewed rigor.

{The picture : Eddie, a cute, lively, playful dog, wondering at the world outside the window – as captured by Abhishek}

now moving over to the “Philosophical burst” 

“….there are many situations unanswered you are left with, and you unnecessarily trouble self over them, as to why people reacted so to what you said or you did, why do people stay silent leaving you perturbed over their sudden disappearances, but experience tells me that there certainly would be many situations created for you in future, before your death, when you sit across the table and drill the person in question as to why he or she did so, while your mind keeps itself busy in screaming at her “you bitch” or at him “you bastard”, the voice of which stays inaudible to the other person across the table. You may be wondering as to why I said this to you now…just think. As you know that I certainly would not eagerly wait for your response… because I know that you would one day explain the reason for this, if not this moment……….{Jyo}

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