I was taken aback by the woman I saw in the mirror…such a “sea change”, such an “unpleasant relief” (wicked!) from the feminine experience, both my parents and my pet reveling through the “family dinner time”…”woh kahte hai na Wholesome goodness”, what a jargon we advertising fraternity throws at them, we call them fondly “Homemakers”. Cut back to this surprising swing in my moods, a piece of note from a stranger who I have not met, when it fluttered across the alien skies just to land at my window to cause all this inexplicable torrential conversion, a sudden turnaround of the carnival streets into raging streams….and who was out there to chat up with this quivering fragile woman? {what a performer!} ah, the superior human, there he flew on, to tap my lover on his handsomely crafted shoulder, tch tch, Jean Marie Dru what a disruption, “Cant you see I am having great a time over wine with my client”…”hush, the girl is on some emotional turmoil”…. wine.jpgthe handsome man walked out to speak to the raging little mind “I am out of the civilised world and you have all the nerve to tug at the heart-strings”….”baby,…”her sweet and trembling voice tore him away from the drunken revelry he has been part of till a moment ago..ah woman, how many store-houses of steely nerves do you have that let you share your vulnerable features with…she (I effectively) blinked away her tears to pose a question at him “I am facing something ambiguous, queer-sounding, yet artistic in effect, and seemed potent enough to stir me through the night.I am not able to decode its existence, but could feel its presence..”, he in his pleasant voice “talk to me girl, what’s bothering you?”. I/she firmed my fragile tone, said “I am reading a review on ROTH now. But something else made me take a departure from my regular mundane existence and put my little head onto swirling a trip of introspection. I have nothing to talk about but if you start probing me, I may be able to find that intrigued me..” n he certainly would have thrown back his sleek face to laugh at this with a sense of abandonment….pleasant interruptions continued at the drinking congress@1000 Oaks-Pune, as the woman (me!) trudged slowly back up the road toward her cottage……ah, the intriguing power of a tiny note from a stranger who I am in the process of learning about….

My darling, suddenly
the line of your hip
becomes the brimming curve
of the wine goblet,
your breast is the grape cluster,
your nipples are the grapes,
the gleam of spirits lights your hair,
and your navel is a chaste seal
stamped on the vessel of your belly,
your love an inexhaustible
cascade of wine,
light that illuminates my senses….{link:Ode to Wine, my dearest mentor, Pablo Neruda}

We tend to celebrate introspection when we are sad or grief-struck or under the doubt of self-doubt. Are not we? I guess, I am under the cloud too…I can see myself getting under absolutely a frosty layer and a deep sulk, ready to be perceived by the world as “She is bitter. She is not warm. She is bitter wine”

Now, Thomas Bernhard, whose stories I am sleeping with….one of the stories “Comedy”

Four actors from a theater company hit upon the idea of writing a comedy themselves after the products of comic playrights had become more and more odious and boring to them, and all four of them immediately sat down and started to write, in the nature of things, only about themselves, although their original intention has been that each of them  write a part of himself in the comedy, for which, after thorough and, in fact, weeks long study, they could come up with no other title than The Author, and twelve weeks after they had hit upon the idea they produced the comedy in their theater. But it is reported that even with this Author  they had no success. ..{story is over}        

Nothing succeeds like failure.Isnt it?

leading self to the movie “SIDEWAYS” {to be reviewed,baby!)