It’s not the heaviness in my little head covered by deep tresses, I felt my neck and shoulders stiff and tense! many a thought is swirling around – was i effective enough in that mental masturbation session-as we term a brain-storming set-up ? Was I struggling with this notion of being ignored by him constantly during the discussion? why was i showering so much attention to his span of attention towards me? a distorted facial expression was shot back at me when I mentioned about the ‘Uber-sexual’ trend in men, skewed towards more a suave, refined gentlemanly attitude, in contrast with the ‘metro-sexual’…the next moment, dimples gathered on his face, eyes sparkled enthusiastically, ‘see how the continuum Heterosexual and Gay acquired many a format’….that means,the ambiguity in one’s life lost its existence and is increasingly getting fragmented? that means,we comfortably are sinking and moving within various shades of ambiguity and playing our own games? sounds intriguing and how to link this back to snacking? tough one! Is my ever-stay-kicking alive enthusiasm losing its fervor due to him? whatever, I decided to battle this out, the unpleasant face of office politics showing its dirty and mangled claws! need to stay put, stay on with the rigorous thinking process and endure all these tiny bursts of insults. How mom and dad try to comfort me in their humble ways is one thing,am able to feel happy about these days and that cute and little heartbeat at my feet, Genie boy, how adeptly he senses the depression around me and so meaningfully captures my attention….
When you try your best
but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want
but not what you need
When you feel so tired
but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse….
And the tears come
streaming down your face
When you lose something
you can’t replace
When you love someone
but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?……how frequently these days I stay close to Chris Martin, while driving back home and cry unabashedly…..is this Urban loneliness or a muted emotional struggle? I will wait for the time to define this for me

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